Tuesday, September 29, 2015

My stupid heart is at it again.

When it comes to my health, I tend to eschew the run of the mill. Colds? Flu? Pfft. Go big or go home I say.

A week from today I will  enter the hospital for my second open heart surgery. My first surgery was less than two years ago. Needless to say I'm not pleased about this, so I'm starting this blog to give myself a place to vent and bitch about how fucking fantastic all this is, and possibly offer some insight to first timers. Also, Oxycodone fueled rambling.


  • I am sweary as fuck, so if that offends you, this is not the place for you. 
  • I am not a doctor, nor a medical professional of any kind. 
  • My opinions and experiences are my own, I'm not here to defend them to anyone, if you troll me, I will not engage, I will however block the fuck out of you.

Perhaps you have questions?

What's wrong with you? Why didn't they just fix everything the first time?

My first surgery, last April, was to replace my aortic valve. I opted for a mechanical valve since I'm only in my 40's and a bio valve would wear out, and I'd be back in to replace it in 10 years. Since that time, my aorta has begun to inflate like a party balloon, going from 3.5cm post op to about 5.5cm as of my CTscan done about 2 months ago. So this time around a large portion of my aorta is getting pulled out and replaced with a dacron tube. I'm going CYBORG, bitches!

What condition do you have that would cause this?

A question for the ages, neither my Surgeon nor my Cardiologist have any concrete explanation for what is causing the aneurism. Or the minor heart attack I had 5 years ago, or the minor stroke I had at 23. When I had the stroke I was given a diagnosis of Marfan syndrome, but my Surgeon who has seen my heart in person,  said while I do have Marfan traits,  mine is not a Marfan heart. Perhaps while they're tinkering around in there this time, a cause will reveal itself. Who knows. I'm a medical freakshow, not a doctor.

At some point I will try and gather all the medical terminology (or medical blabbity-blah as I like to call it) for my issues. For now, party balloon aorta is the best you're gonna get. If you're looking for science, go find a blog written by a doctor. I'm just here to vent, give an honest account of what heart surgery is like (again FOR ME - your experience could be completely different)

So - I will end this first blog with a final summation:

If at any point in this blog it seems I am giving medical opinions, they are opinions that relate to ME. If you have a heart condition, or think you do,  I am not here to advise you, that is what Doctors are for, and as I mentioned - I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL OF ANY KIND.